An unanswered question, to me, is pretty much one of the worst things I could ever have to contend with. I’m the girl that will go to the 27th page of a Google search to find what I need, so when I don’t have the WHY, it sits on me like an awful mosquito bite on the middle of your back that will neither go away nor ever be reached to be scratched enough to make it feel better. It is one of those things that has always stayed with me, sat on my heart like a 50 lb. weight, and lingered in the back of my head no matter how much clarity I had otherwise in every other aspect of my life.
The unknown. Why do we have such a challenge with it? Is it that we need to control situations? Is it that we have such command of everything we do and everything we need, at our fingertips? We are so accustomed to instant gratification that the second something cannot be accessed or figured out, we get irritated. I’m a self-professed control freak so I know that’s my issue…but it’s only recently in my life that I have learned to get better with this and I will tell you what helped.
I was talking to a friend of mine about something challenging that I was dealing with one day a long while back and after listening a bit, he simply said,
“Stop it. Like, now. You’re never going to get the WHY.”
And, another amazing friend of mine more recently told me during a deep conversation about life,
“Sometimes shit just is what it is. That’s all.”
It’s so simple, it’s one of those things that smacks you in the face when you hear it and it’s pretty damn obvious until you repeat it to yourself and actually BELIEVE it. That’s what takes the work. That’s what takes the investment in yourself and that’s what prompts the shift in being able to let the unanswered things go.
Gaining the acceptance of the fact that sometimes you really just are never, ever going to get the WHY is one of the most challenging things ever. We search, we seek, we try to wrap our minds into an explanation, we pursue, we research, but sometimes there just actually is no answer. Why do people that we love fall ill and pass away? Why is there inequality? Why are some amazing people dealt truly shitty situations? Why are families sometimes left with nothing after a natural disaster strikes? The list goes on.
The truth is, there is no good answer. Sometimes there just is no WHY. At least no WHY for everything. Sometimes there is and when you get it, it’s great. It’s pure elation when things make sense but there’s also a large portion that goes unexplained and the older we get, the better (I’d like to think) that we get at moving into a quicker acceptance. Life is short, we don’t have much time and what I have come around to understanding is that time spent pursuing the WHY is time wasted, and time you’ll never get back. I’ve wasted too much of it over my lifetime and I refuse moving forward to let it drain me and I wish the same for you.
It’s not easy, it’s not natural and it shouldn’t be (ok, don’t go there and ask WHY you don’t always get the WHY)…but the next time you find yourself spinning your wheels searching for a higher reason WHY, refer to this and just do your best that day/week/month to accept that “Sometimes shit just is what it is. That’s all” Your only job is to figure out how to make yourself better from it, and that I know you can figure out.